Valentine's Day Message
by butterfly collective
Summary: Set some years before "A Circle of Women", both Alex and C.J. attend a social gala on Valentine's Day with interesting results. With both Matt and Walker in the picture, Jonathan out of it and a mysterious envelope...
1. Chapter 1

Hi, this is the first part of a two part Valentine's Day story, which is a cross fiction between _Matt Houston_ and _Walker Texas Ranger_ that takes place some years before "A Circle of Woman". I hope you enjoy it, thanks for reading and thanks for reading all my stories even though some of them have been being updated for ages.

* * *

The envelope waited for her on her desk when she walked into her cubicle after arriving five minutes late to her job at the Houston Public Defender's office. She had slid it inside her briefcase and had grabbed a few files off of her desk and ran down the hallway and a flight of stairs on her way to the historic courthouse across the street.

Now, C.J. sat at her assigned table inside the courtroom, while the judge conversed with his clerk. Running her hand through her mahogany hair, she sighed as she looked down at her stack of files of all the cases she had to handle that morning before she could break for lunch. Just another day spent working as one of Houston's public defenders inside the city's main courthouse. She had been working there for about three months since she returned to Texas after graduating with honors from Harvard School of Law and for the most part, she found her work fulfilling. But her workdays were nonstop, from the time she arrived in the office in the morning to the time she left sometimes late in the evening usually with a briefcase stuffed with case files. Still, at the end of the day as she burned the late night oil reviewing case law with a cup of herbal tea beside her, she couldn't imagine doing anything else.

"I see the judge has a lot of work this morning," a woman's voice said.

C.J. looked up at Alex who carried her own stack of files as she sat down at the nearby table.

"They're awaiting the probation report on the Chandler case," C.J. said, "It could be a while."

Alex nodded and then leaned back in her chair as they both waited for the judge to finish his discussion.

The two women had met not long after C.J. had been hired by the public defender's office and had been handling one of her first cases. She had been so nervous that she had run into the bathroom during a court recess to lose her breakfast. Alex had run into her after she had been cleaning up at the sink and had given her some water to help settle her stomach. Since then, the two women had become friendly even when opposing each other in court. Lately, they had met after work for drinks and sometimes dinner, more often than not at their favorite Mexican restaurant where a group of lawyers from both sides of the judicial fence hung out on Friday nights to unwind after a long week.

The judge finally turned away from the clerk and looked at the two of them.

"Are you ready to go," he asked.

Both women nodded and the first hearing of the morning began.

Later, they kicked back at the restaurant, drinking Margaritas and eating chips and salsa while they waited for their food, along with some of the other attorneys from both legal offices. Everyone seemed intent on putting the rigors of the day and indeed the long week behind them and began ordering several rounds of drinks as soon as they arrived to loosen up, while they discussed their plans for the weekend. Only in fun of course, since truth be told most of them would be spending most of the next two days and nights working away from the office. C.J. knew that even as she sipped her first Margarita of the night, she would be keeping her regular date with the law library and would be lucky if she could slip out for a brief lunch at a nearby Italian restaurant which made the best pizza in Houston. She knew that her hours would have wrecked havoc on her current relationship with Jonathan if his own career had not made its own demands on his time. Currently, he was off training for two months at Quantico on defensive tactical training. She missed him while he was gone but then long separations had defined their relationship as long as they had been seeing each other. She reached for the chips and the guacamole.

"I'm glad this week is over," one guy said, sitting next to them.

Alex smiled.

"Chad, congratulations on your robbery trial," she said.

Diana who worked for the public defender's office snorted.

"Yeah Chad," she said, "thanks for whipping out that discovery at the last possible moment and bending every rule in the book."

Chad frowned, as he grabbed some chips and dipped them in the extra spicy salsa.

"I was just returning the favor."

C.J. watched them banter, knowing that neither took it as personally as they made it sound. The battles fought in the courtrooms had to be left there when they ended each day or else they would never have personal lives to enjoy outside of their work days. They might spend mornings, even entire days at trial engaging in one's up ship inside the courtroom but at the end of the day, they put that all aside for a while, to rest and recharge their batteries so that they could wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

"Are you going to that retirement party for the judge," Chad asked.

C.J. and Alex looked at each other. The party, already being called the shindig of the season was scheduled for next Saturday.

"I'm thinking about it," Alex said.

C.J. shrugged.

"I'm not sure," she said, "My boyfriend is flying in from Quantico to visit for the weekend."

Chad nodded.

"The G Man in training?"

C.J. nodded.

"Yes," she said, "He's been there about two years and he's about to get his permanent assignment."

"What are the odds he'll be assigned anywhere in Texas," Diana asked.

C.J. sighed, not wanting to think about that right now.

"Slim to none," she said, "We're hoping that he might wind up in Denver closer to his hometown."

"Long distance love just sounds so…impossible," Diana said.

"We love each other," C.J. said, "So we're making it work."

Chad snorted.

"How do you know if he's making it work," he said, "You know what they say, out of sight, out of mind."

Alex put her hand up.

"Chad, give it a rest okay," she said, "Just because your girlfriend left you high and dry when she moved to New York City doesn't mean it doesn't work out for anyone else."

Chad rolled his eyes at her.

"When's the last time you even had a date?"

Alex's eyes clouded over briefly and C.J. shot an irritated look at Chad.

"Look, we know you're still getting over Cheryl dumping you but you don't have to take it out on us," she said.

"So C.J. are you going to the party," he asked.

"Like I said, my boyfriend's going to be in town," she said.

"Why don't you bring him along," Chad asked, "Attending these galas, it's great for your career trajectory."

C.J. smiled.

"We have other plans but thanks for your concern about my career."

Alex shook her head.

"Stop bothering her Chad," she said, "What about you, are you going to it?"

Chad nodded.

"I've already got a date," he said.

They looked up at him in surprise. He looked back, annoyed.

"It's true," Chad insisted, "one of the paralegals in the office is coming with me."

"How much did you pay her," Diana challenged.

C.J. found her mind wandering to the weekend when she would finally see Jonathan again after several months apart. The last time they had spent together had been was during the Christmas holidays which she had spent with her best friend Matt and his family on a ranch outside of Houston before meeting up with Jonathan while he was traveling from his family's ranch near Silver Lode back East to Quantico. Given the demands of their careers, they squeezed in opportunities for their relationship whenever they arose which wasn't too often. At times in between those reunions, C.J. had wondered if it was worth continuing their relationship but she always reminded herself that they were in love and that was the only real important thing. The rest of it was merely logistics which could be worked out, and that compromise served as the foundation of any relationship.

"You know the judge's party is on Valentine's Day," Chad reminded them.

C.J. knew that. And looking across at Alex, she knew that the prosecutor did too. Her eyes had flickered with momentary sadness when Chad had reminded them of the holiday. She knew what made Alex saddened by the reminder, given that her last boyfriend had left a huge impression on her, one that had been long-lasting and not in a good way.

When Alex had come to the restaurant several months ago, C.J. had looked at her surprised because Alex had become a rare site at their weekly get-togethers since hooking up with another attorney, a man that C.J. had only met once. Alex had brought him just one time to the restaurant and had introduced him to her friends and C.J. had picked up something about him, more from his body language than from what he said, that she disliked intently, without knowing why. Then Alex had stopped coming for a while until the one evening she had shown up with the shiner on her face, which had shocked C.J. Her face had crumpled in tears after she had sat down at the table, her voice tinged with shame as she had explained to C.J. that her boyfriend had hit her during an argument and she had walked out on him. As the story spilled out of her, C.J. had sat and listened, horrified as the truth behind Alex's relationship with the perfect boyfriend had unfolded. And that's all she had done was listen because she hadn't known what to say to her. C.J. had never had that experience of having a boyfriend physically abuse her and she hoped that she never would experience that. It had unnerved her enough that a woman who had it all together as much as Alex clearly did could have been abused by a boyfriend. If it could happen to her, then it could happen to anyone.

Alex had told her that she couldn't pursue another relationship until she understood what part of her had been drawn to such an abusive man hidden beneath the persona of the perfect man. After all, she had done her time prosecuting cases of domestic violence and should have known better, should have read the signs that had been hiding in plain sight. She hadn't dated since, preferring to focus even more time and energy on her growing caseload as one of Houston's most promising prosecutors.

"Chad, everyone knows what day the party falls on," C.J. countered.

And she certainly knew, having set up plans to spend a romantic weekend with Jonathan. She smiled knowing that many people wouldn't ever suspect her boyfriend of three years of having a romantic side to his often stoic exterior. But have one he did, though sometimes it needed a little coaxing to come out. She often compared him without realizing it at the time to the other man in her life, Matt. C.J. couldn't think of two men who could possibly be greater polar opposites to one another and she often asked herself, how could she possibly be so close, albeit in very different ways, to both of them. Right now, Matt had finished his stint in the military and was working for his father by taking his business and turning it into a larger corporation with more reach in different places.

Even before she had graduated from Harvard University School of Law, Matt had cajoled her to come and work with him in the corporate sphere but she had turned him down, still caught up in her fascination with criminal law. Every so often she felt pangs of guilt that she hadn't taken his offer and she missed him, as the miles that separated the two of them were often as many as between her and Jonathan. Matt lived out of his suitcase, checked in and out of hotels in many cities and flew coast to coast and occasionally outside of the country in a Lear Jet that he had learned to fly himself when conducting business in its cabin bored him. And his social life had flourished as he had left a trail of adoring women from one side of the country to the other and many places in between. The boy that she had grown up with who fell hard for one woman at a time now appeared more casual in his relationships but then she supposed that was all part of the life shared by the corporate jet set.

C.J. barely heard the other lawyers say their goodbyes as they teetered towards the cabs that awaited them. She and Alex being the only ones left finishing their dinners before the evening had stretched too long. Alex watched the others leave, with a sigh as she filled her glass with more lime margarita from the pitcher.

"I didn't think Chad would ever stop talking."

"He's just trying to make it seem as if his girlfriend dumping him didn't mean anything," C.J. pointed out.

"It's true that I haven't had a date since…well you know," Alex said, "I just haven't had the time for a relationship."

"It's difficult with our jobs," C.J. agreed, "Jonathan and I probably won't even recognize each other this weekend when he flies in."

Alex chuckled.

"I'm sure you will," she said, "and you have a perfect excuse not to waste such a romantic holiday at some big shot judge's shindig."

"So you're going?"

Alex grimaced.

"With someone in the office," she said, "but it's not a date."

"You might have fun," C.J. said, "You might see some people you know there."

Alex shrugged.

"You might even see a certain new Texas Ranger there," C.J. mused.

Alex made a face.

"You mean Cordell Walker," she said, "He's good looking in a cowboy kind of way but we just never seem to get along when we do run into each other."

"I think he likes you," C.J. said, "Strong and silent type, maybe."

"He doesn't act like he likes anyone," Alex said, "There's a lot of anger in him."

C.J. hadn't noticed that, as she had found him to be polite to a fault and a little shy perhaps. But she had liked him on sight when she had met him a month ago although she hadn't seen him since though like most people in the courthouses she heard often of his exploits.

She looked around and noticed the late hour and the thinning crowds and told Alex she needed to head back home and call up her boyfriend to finalize the plans and somehow manage to have a conversation with him over the phone lines without spilling details of the surprise she had planned for him on Valentine's Day.

* * *

C.J. threw her briefcase on the floor by her bed inside her small apartment. She looked around her and remembered where she had put the phone. She grabbed a bunch of clothes and took them to the laundry room to start a load. After she got back, she made some herbal tea and then grabbed her mug and sat on the sofa in her small living room, her feet tucked under her while she called her boyfriend.

She actually caught him at home instead of his answering machine as she often did and her heart filled with anticipation.

"C.J., I was just about to call you," he said, from several thousand miles away.

"I guess great minds think alike," she said, lightly curling the phone cord around her hand, "I miss you."

"I miss you too," he said, "They keep us so busy here with the training."

"I can imagine," she said, "But it will help you get a great assignment."

"C.J…"

She heard the hesitancy in his voice and steeled herself.

"What's wrong," she said, before he could finish.

"I…I won't be able to fly out next weekend," he said, "Something's come up…some training."

She felt resignation fill her but she tried to put a smile on it.

"Well…okay…that's okay," she said, "We can meet up some other time."

"I'm really sorry about this," he said, "If I can make it up to you…"

"Don't worry about it Jonathan," she said, "They'll be other Valentine's Days."

Silence met her words.

"Damn I forgot," he said, "Maybe I can…"

"No don't," she said, "if this training's important, you need to take it. Your career matters a lot to you like mine does to me and these unexpected developments, well they're just part of it."

And with that, he knew that she had forgiven him and they moved on to talking about other things before finally saying their good nights to each other. As she hung up the phone, C.J. walked over to get her briefcase and sorted through it to find the files she needed to review before heading to bed. As she looked through her briefcase, she saw the envelope with the neatly scripted words on it, instructing her not to open until Valentine's Day. She smiled as she held onto it, thinking that Jonathan might not be coming to see her but had clearly found some way to make the day special for her in his absence.

* * *

The weekend proved to be almost uneventful for C.J. who spent most of her time at the law library looking up files that had gathered up dust inside boxes on a series of shelves inside the storage room. She spent so much time just inside that room that she felt like she lived there and finally, she had found the right folders to take back to her favorite carrel to review most of the day. On Sunday, she had buried herself for several hours reviewing an old case law pertaining to a criminal case heard in the Houston courthouse 10 years earlier when her phone rang and saw Matt's number pop up.

"Hi, I knew it was you," she said.

"Well, it's good to hear from you too."

"I've been at the library for two days," she said, "though I'm about to head off to my favorite spot for lunch."

"The Italian place with the great pizza," he asked, "Would you like some company?"

She paused.

"I thought you were on some whirlwind business trip or holed up in some hotel with one of your lady friends."

"I got back last night actually," he said, "And I'm working in town for a couple of weeks at home base. That new accountant we hired is driving the entire division crazy."

She laughed.

"He graduated at the top of his class from Harvard Business School," she said, "Great with numbers, not so much with people but you'll be a good influence on him."

"So would you like to 'do lunch' as they call it?"

"Sure would," she said, "I'm just leaving now and I bet you're already at work at the office and are looking to get out for a bit."

"You guessed right as usual," he said, chuckling.

They met up at the Italian restaurant and she picked her favorite corner booth. He arrived a couple minutes after she did and they both looked at the menus while the waitress brought Matt a beer and her, ice tea.

"You know if you did the right thing and worked with me, we could write this off as a business expense," he said.

She rolled her eyes. He never backed off from trying to hire her away from her job as a public defender to come work with him. He had made it clear that she wouldn't be working for him, but would be equal partners with him as they would try to build on his father's successful mixture of business acumen and hard work to make the company an even bigger success.

"Houston, I love my job," she said, "Besides, I don't think I'd want to travel so much. I barely see Jonathan enough as it is."

"You'll be seeing him next weekend right," Matt said, "After all, isn't that what couples do on Valentine's Day?"

She touched the rim of her glass.

"And what will you be doing," she said, "Oh right, you do have a black book of names to keep you busy while you're cooling your heels from your travels right here in town."

"C.J., I don't have this black book…"

"Every business hotshot in Texas or anywhere else does," she said, "I know, I was in a few of those books myself."

His eyes narrowed.

"Which ones," he said.

She laughed.

"What does it matter," she said, "I'm in a relationship now with a great guy…even if he can't fly out to see me next week."

"He's not coming," Matt said, "He'd better have a good excuse."

She sighed.

"He's got more training that they've added on to his program," she said, "It's not like he could say no."

"Why," Matt said, "I would have told them where to take it. Some things are more important to a man than his career."

She sipped her drink.

"Do you always put your personal life over your business travels?"

"When it matters, yes," he said, "Family's more important than anything else."

She nodded knowing he had her there.

"I wish I'd known mine longer," she said, "I love my uncle and I think in his own way, he loved me but I missed that growing up."

He heard the wistful tone in her voice and reached out to take her hand in his own strong one that despite his more recent time spent jet setting bore their share of calluses too from years working on the ranch. She knew her own hands were like that and she wouldn't change it, though she had learned that a professional manicure every once in a while wasn't a bad thing.

"They'd be proud of what you become," he said, rubbing her hand between his own in the way she loved.

"I know," she said, "Now I've got to figure out what I'm going to do next weekend instead. Maybe I'll go to that judge's bash at the hotel."

"I heard that's going to be a hell of a party," Matt said, "I was thinking of going myself."

She wrinkled her brow.

"Are you sure you're talking about the same party?"

"Maybe it's just a slow weekend on Houston's social calendar but we can always liven it up."

Looking at him, a thought hit her suddenly.

"Would you like to come with me?"

He looked at her.

"You mean like a date?"

She laughed at that.

"No, just as friends," she said, "We don't have to stick to each other during the party. We can just show up and leave together."

He considered that and finally nodded.

"I'll pick you up…"

"Why don't we just agree to meet up at the party?"

"Because I want to do this right and that means picking the lady up."

She looked at him, puzzled at his words. He smiled back easily enough.

"I don't want to let it get out that I can't show a woman a good time…"

She laughed.

"Somehow I don't think you ever have to worry about that."

* * *

As the week passed, C.J. thought ahead to the night of the party and when she and Alex had met up in the hallway at the courthouse, she said that she would be attending the gala with Matt. To Alex's credit, she didn't raise a brow at that development but simply nodded. She knew that the two were just great friends and she told C.J. she couldn't wait to meet the man who had been her closest friend since childhood. C.J's mind also wandered back to the envelope that sat in a box at home where she saved the rest of her correspondence with Jonathan, waiting to be opened on Valentine's Day. Thankfully, her workload that week actually turned out to be lighter than usual, and one afternoon she had been released from her job early so she went to visit her other oldest friend from childhood, Julia at her family's residence where she had been recovering after her most recent round of chemotherapy. The news from her doctor this time had been good, meaning that her cancer had gone back in remission. Still, for how long, the doctor couldn't answer so her friend didn't take one day of her life for granted. Rather, she lived each one as it were her last, spending most of the days when she felt strongest working at the women's crisis center.

As she drove up the long tree-lined driveway up to the mansion where Julia lived, she thought back to their friendship which had began when they had met up in elementary school, not long after C.J. had moved to Texas to live with her uncle. The first day of school, the class bully had picked on C.J. even though he seemed twice her size. After she had enough of his taunts, C.J. had balled up her hands into fists and gotten into a brawl with him. Although she won the fight, she had been sent home on suspension for a week which she spent working on the ranch from sunrise to sunup under the watchful eyes of her uncle. But she had made an immediate impression on two other students in the school yard, Matt and Julia, and had become close friends with both of them over the years.

Julia met her at the door, looking pale but smiling broadly. She and C.J. walked out into the back veranda which faced an impressive looking garden, which managed to bloom throughout the year except during the darkest days of Houston's winters. They sat on a bench while an older woman brought them tea and caught up on each other's lives.

"I think it's great what you've been doing at the crisis center," C.J. said, sipping her tea.

"The women are great," Julia said, "I can't wait to get to the office every morning. I've never felt so alive."

C.J. heard the enthusiasm in her friend's voice. She knew it had been Julia's lifelong dream to help women less fortunate than herself. It had been both of their dreams to use their law degrees to set up a legal practice which would specialize in helping these women. That plan that they had crafted through the years of their friendship had been derailed by Julia's cancer diagnosis.

"What about you C.J.," Julia asked, "Are you really happy working at the Public Defender's office?"

C.J. nodded.

"It's very hard work but challenging too," she said, "I like the people I work with though the hours are a bit of a grind."

Julia grinned.

"The life of an attorney," she said, "is bankable hours which come in different forms and venues."

"True," C.J. admitted, "but I'm a public employee so I don't get the salary but there are other rewards in this line of work."

Julia leaned back in her chair.

"So how's the boyfriend?"

C.J. rubbed her arm.

"He's training at Quantico and he had to cancel on our weekend."

"Again," Julia asked.

"It hasn't been that many times," C.J. said.

"When's the last time you've seen him?"

"Christmas," C.J. said, "We spent two days together."

"That's great, but does that make a relationship, grabbing time together here and there?"

C.J. bristled under Julia's studying gaze as she always did when her friend questioned her relationship with Jonathan. She knew Julia had great affection for the man that both of them had met and had bonded with during a traumatic incident in all of their lives but she didn't like C.J. spending most of her time alone with her boyfriend all the way on the other side of the country. Life was too short, she had learned the hard way and she wanted C.J. to find happiness.

But right now C.J. felt a bit defensive.

"It will have to," C.J. said, "We're both so busy in our careers right now."

Julia sighed.

"You have to make time for the things that matter," she said, "Family…relationships, matter as much as careers. You never know how long you'll have and when it can all be taken away."

When she heard the tone in her friend's voice, C.J. softened. She knew that Julia said these things to her because her own life had taught her harsh lessons about the brevity of the time that might be given and the unfairness of it all when your life was taken out of your hands. But she and Jonathan had faced many difficulties in their relationship which hadn't begun under the best of circumstances anyway and had stuck it out.

"What does Matt think about it," Julia said, "I heard he's back in town."

C.J. nodded.

"We ate lunch last weekend," she said, "He gave Jonathan a hard time for bailing out but I asked him to go to the judge's party…just as a good friend and he agreed."

Julia smiled.

"He's not going to pass that up," she said, "but are you adding the friendship reference for my benefit or yours?"

C.J. sighed, remembering that Julia never missed a thing in all the years they had known each other.

"I'm simply saying what we are so there won't be any misunderstanding."

Julia raised her brows.

"Misunderstanding, involving who," she said, "As long as you've got it straight between the two of you, that's what matters, isn't it?"

"Sure," C.J. said, "Besides Houston's got his own life to keep him busy what with all the traveling he's been doing."

"Between him and Jonathan, you have been keeping the men in your life at more than arm's length," Julia noted.

C.J. felt exasperation fill her that she somehow managed to stem.

"That's got nothing to do with me," she said, "It's the lives that both of them have chosen for themselves. Just like I've chosen the direction of my life."

"I know that," Julia said, pouring herself more tea, "You know I was surprised to see you and Jonathan get back together."

C.J. frowned.

"You mean after we broke up last fall?"

Julia tried to be diplomatic.

"I mean that you met during the most difficult of circumstances," she said, "When all of our lives were in danger. When you were faced with the responsibility to save us from those men the night of the fire."

C.J.'s cup trembled slightly in her hand and she put it down on the table.

"I did what I thought I had to do," she said, "As it turned out, nothing happened except that some even more dangerous men showed up and tried to kill us."

"And you got us out of there," Julia said, "But sometimes I wonder if only two of us really escaped that night."

C.J. tilted her head.

"What do you mean?"

Julia sighed, reaching for her cup.

"You keep everyone in your life at a distance," she said, "I'm not the only one who's noticed."

C.J. struggled to keep smiling.

"Look, everything's fine with me. Everything's fine with Jonathan and both of us are happy with the way things are going."

"I never said you weren't."

"As for saying that I'm not the same woman, I get enough of that from Houston," she said, "and I'll tell you the same thing I told him, that I'm perfectly fine."

"If you say so," Julia said, quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

The final part of this Valentine's Day story is up. Hope you like it and thanks for reading, your patience with my updating and the comments!

* * *

C.J. thought about what Julia had said while driving home, shaking her head at the implausibility of her words. Seriously, she hadn't given what had happened to the three of them towards the end of her first year at Harvard School of Law any second thought. She had put it out of her mind and had moved on with her life and her plans for her legal career. She had studied hard to graduate at the top of her class and she had forged a relationship with Jonathan despite the challenges that their dreams placed on the time they had to spend together. She turned into the parking garage of her apartment complex and after getting out of her car, walked to her apartment, she thought about calling Jonathan. As soon as she turned the key to unlock her door, she nixed that idea, remembering that he had been flown out to some island to engage in some survival training. Sighing, she went to listen to her phone messages and discovered that she had received one from Matt saying that he would pick her up the night of the party.

She knew he had decided to go to the party to make her feel better, a little less lonely for not having been able to spend the weekend with her boyfriend. During the entire time she had known him, she knew that Matt felt more comfortable in jeans and a chambray shirt rather than a tuxedo, though truth be told he flattered both looks. She smiled as she imagined that he would be pulling at his bow tie and looking for the nearest exit and then trying to hide it from her. Not that like most native Texans he didn't know how to have a good time when he felt like it. It's just that backyard barbecues and poker nights were more his thing than gaiety events where he mingled with upper society. She grabbed some leftovers from the refrigerator and went to review some case files on her sofa.

The phone rang and she picked it up, discovering it was Matt.

"I got your message," she said, "the party starts at eight so maybe you could drop by about seven in case there's traffic."

"I'll be leaving the office early that day so I'll have plenty of time."

She hesitated.

"Are you sure you want to go through this," she said, "I know how you feel about galas."

He chuckled.

"I know how you feel about them too," he said, "So between the two of us, we'll find a way to have a good time."

"We don't have to spend every moment there together…"

"I know that C.J.," he said, "But you can't expect me to pretend that we didn't arrive together."

"It's not that," she said, "It's…"

She could sense him frowning through the phone line.

"This isn't about Jonathan is it? Because if he's…"

"No, Houston, don't worry," she said, "He'll understand. He knows we've been close friends most of our lives."

"I never got the impression he was comfortable with that."

C.J. closed her eyes realizing that he had noticed what had been one of the few bones of contention between her and her boyfriend.

"Why would you say that," she said, "He knows there's never been anything between us…"

"I can't say I'd be thinking any differently if I were in his shoes," Matt said, "After all, you're a very attractive lady."

She smiled at that but then became serious.

"You're not in his shoes," she said, "and really, he's okay with our friendship."

She felt him pause as if he were going to say something but all he did say was good night.

* * *

C.J. entered into her apartment and tossed her briefcase on the sofa. She had laid out the dress she had planned to wear to the gala on her bed and she took her work clothes off and jumped in the shower. Her work day had ended later than she had expected so she knew she was cutting it close to get ready before Matt would pick her up for the gala. Her muscles loosened up under the warm water as she thought about the weekend ahead. She felt a pang of disappointment that Jonathan would not be flying in to see her but she pushed that thought out of her mind and tried to look forward to the party.

Later, she finished putting the touch ups on her makeup and looked in the mirror at her elegantly styled hair which rested on her shoulders. Her royal blue dress had been purchased off the sales rack at a tony department store but accentuated her curves. She found her favorite pair of dress shoes and sat down to slip them on her feet. Suddenly, she heard the doorbell ring and she knew Matt had arrived. When she saw him standing there in his tuxedo, with his bow tie slightly askew, she suppressed a grin.

"Here let me take care of that," she said, fidgeting with his tie.

He stood there patiently as she fussed over him, taking in the sight of her in her dress and the smell of lilacs from her hair. She looked up at him and he smiled.

"I can never quite get it right," he said, sheepishly.

She doubted that and sometimes she wondered if he did it on purpose.

"There, much better," she said, stepping back.

"You look…beautiful."

She raised her brow at him.

"You sound surprised."

He shook his head.

"Come on," C.J. said, a twinkle in her eye, "You look shocked to see me in a party dress but I have been known to wear them."

Matt knew that but he also knew she looked somehow different tonight.

"We'd better get going," she said, reaching for her coat.

The party appeared to be in full swing by the time they arrived there. Refreshment tables lined the walls of the ballroom and an orchestra played lively music in the corner where some couples danced on the floor.

C.J. looked up and saw Alex with a very tall man who looked a bit older, with salt and pepper sprinkled in his hair. She knew he worked as a supervising prosecutor in the D.A.'s office. Alex smiled in what looked like relief when she saw her. She said a few words to her date who nodded and walked towards the bar.

"C.J., you got here."

C.J. looked over but Matt had already worked his way towards a small group of young women wearing cocktail dresses near the bar.

"I see I already lost my date."

Alex laughed.

"I know it's not nice to say this but I wish I could lose mine."

C.J. looked at the bar.

"I've seen him in court a time or two," she said, "usually chewing out one of the 'baby' prosecutors."

Alex grimaced.

"He puts the fear of God into every junior prosecutor coming into the office," she said, "We've lost a couple good ones that way but he always says if they can't take his heat, they'll never make it."

"I told Houston to have a good time and not worry about me," C.J. said, "not that I had to do that."

"Is he really that much of a ladies' man," Alex asked, "or is it all an act?"

C.J. shrugged.

"He fell in love hard a couple of times and got his heart broken," she said, "so I think he's more into casual relationships now."

"With a body like that…," Alex said, "Not that I'm paying any attention."

C.J. laughed.

"Are you sure you're not interested in him," she said, "Underneath it all, he's a really great guy. The best friend I could ever have. I should have introduced you…"

Alex put her hand up.

"No, it's fine, I'll meet him later I'm sure," she said, "at the refreshment table.

"Have you seen him?"

Alex looked puzzled.

"Seen who?"

"Cordell Walker," C.J. said, "I heard he was supposed to be here."

Alex's face flushed though she tried to hide it.

"No I haven't seen him," she said, "Not that I'm looking. I'm trying to have a good time tonight."

C.J. grinned.

"Oh come on," she said, "You know you really like him."

Alex shook her head.

"We always argue and not about the most sensible things."

"Jonathan and I argue sometimes," C.J. said, "though we haven't seen each other enough lately. You shouldn't let that stop you if you like him."

"It's not the same thing," Alex said, "Even when our respective jobs put us on the same side, we still argue."

"We've broken up twice," C.J. said, "including last year because I spent Labor Day with Houston."

Alex eyes widened.

"But you said that the two of you regularly spent holidays together," she said, "and nothing ever happened between the two of you."

C.J. nodded.

"And that's true," she said, "but it took Jonathan time to realize that and realize that Houston's no threat to him or our relationship."

* * *

Matt nursed his first drink of the night with two women, Amber and Tiffani who both seemed eager to find out more about him and kept peppering him with questions once they found out he was a corporate executive for a multi-million dollar empire.

"So how many sports cars do you have," Amber said, sipping her daiquiri.

"Ladies, excuse me," he said, leaving them.

C.J. smiled as he approached her.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon," she said.

"Just checking out the party," he said, looking at Alex.

"You must be Matt Houston," Alex said, smiling and extending her hand.

Matt took it.

"That's the name I go under," he said, "And you must be…"

"Alex Cahill," she said, "I go up against C.J. in the courtroom on occasion."

"You like losing?"

Alex laughed.

"You seem so sure of that."

"She's the best," he said, simply.

"You wear your heart on your sleeve, don't you?"

Matt put his arm around C.J.

"This lady here's the top attorney in Texas," he said, "I wish she'd work with me but she's doing what she loves."

"She's really tough in the courtroom," Alex said, "I wish we were on the same side."

"Well nice to meet you," Matt said, and then looked at C.J.," Why don't we go take a turn on the dance floor?"

She looked up at him in surprise.

"Houston, we don't have to do this…"

"But I want to," he said, putting out his arm which she slipped in her own and they walked off.

Alex just looked at them, shaking her head. But after, she looked across the room and saw Walker standing there talking to one of the judges. He wore his tuxedo much easier than she thought and seemed to be enjoying himself as she watched him. Then he looked up suddenly and saw her from across the room.

* * *

Matt and C.J. hit the dance floor and fell easily enough into dancing.

"So what happened to you and those women I saw you with earlier?"

"They were more interested in my Porsche collection than in me," he said.

"Porsches are built strong, sleek and fast but they've got nothing on you."

He raised his brows at her.

"Excuse me," he said, "Are you saying that you find me attractive?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh Houston, any woman would say that," she said, "I mean look at you."

"But you're not any woman."

She sighed.

"It's just an observation," she said, "Many women would find you attractive and…sexy."

His hold on her body tensed.

"They would, huh," he said, "Are you then speaking for them or for yourself?"

She shrugged in his embrace.

"Just forget I said it," she said, then winced, "Be careful of my toes."

"Sorry, but after what you said…"

"I can't believe we're having this conversation," she said, "I just made an observation."

He hid a smile.

"That I was like a Porsche."

"That's not what I said," C.J. said, chuckling despite herself, "I was simply making a comparison."

* * *

The music stopped and they left the dance floor, him taking her hand and walking back to the bar. C.J. ordered a drink from the bar and sipped it slowly while Alex came up to her. Another woman came over to talk to Matt and they walked off to the buffet.

"You two looked like you were having fun out there," Alex said.

C.J. smiled.

"Houston's a good dancer," she said, "He's had plenty of practice."

"What about you?"

"I love to dance," C.J. said, "I've been trying to get Jonathan to enjoy it more."

Alex lifted her brow.

"He doesn't like it?"

C.J. shrugged.

"He likes it all right," she said, "He just doesn't have the time with all the training at Quantico to relax much."

"That will pass," Alex said, "He'll be getting his first permanent assignment soon enough and hopefully it will be somewhere closer."

"Yeah," C.J. said, "That will be nice."

Alex paused.

"He seems like a nice guy when I met him," she said, "You're lucky."

C.J. nodded.

"I know," she said, "I met him at just the right time."

"When you were in law school right?"

"First year," C.J. said, "I worked in this restaurant and he was hired as a bartender."

"I worked my way through law school as a waitress," Alex said, "I had a great time, but the tips were lousy."

C.J. laughed.

"I wore tacky costumes but the people were great, especially Jonathan."

Roger walked up to them.

"Alex my dear, would you like to take a spin on the dance floor," he asked.

She tried to smile.

"Why not?"

C.J. watched them walk out to the dance floor as soon as the next song started playing. Then she looked up and saw Chad walking toward her.

"What are you doing here by yourself," he asked.

"Just enjoying my drink," C.J. said.

"Want to dance?"

She looked at him and could tell he probably started drinking before he arrived at the gala.

"Not really."

"Oh come on," he said, reaching for her arm, "just a friendly little dance among colleagues."

"I think I'll pass."

She started to walk away and he pulled her arm. She flinched and he spilled some of his drink on his jacket but didn't seem to notice.

"Let go of me," she said, "Where's your date?"

He frowned.

"She took off when we first arrived here," he said, "Come on, are you sure you don't want to dance?"

She pulled her arm away.

"I'm sure," she said, "I think you need to just sit this one out."

He reached for her shoulder.

"Hey, it's just a dance…"

Another hand grabbed his shoulder.

"And the lady told you to leave her alone."

C.J. heard anger in Matt's voice as he grabbed Chad and pulled him to the side.

"Hey man, I just asked her for a dance," Chad said.

"And she told you no thanks," Matt said, "And when a lady tells a man she's not interested, he just walks away."

Chad scrutinized him.

"You're not her boyfriend."

"No I'm not," Matt agreed, "but I am her friend."

Chad sneered.

"I'll bet," he said, "But if she wants to have a little something on the side, that's none of my business."

C.J. looked at both of them, standing toe to toe. Matt wanting to take Chad outside and teach him some manners and Chad having had too much to drink and coming on to her.

"Look let's just continue with the party," she said, taking Matt's arm, "Bye Chad."

They started to walk away and then suddenly Chad grabbed Matt's shoulder and tried to throw a punch at him. Matt ducked and then grabbed Chad from behind and then pushed him against the wall, nearly upsetting a refreshment table. Chad struggled a bit but then realized it was futile.

"Are you going to apologize to the lady," Matt asked.

Chad turned around and did that, before skulking off. C.J. turned to face Matt.

"Thanks, but I can take care of myself," she said, walking off.

* * *

Matt blinked his eyes and then had the bartender pour him another drink. Alex walked up to him about then.

"Hey that was some pretty impressive footwork you just showed," she said, "and I don't mean your dancing."

"I'll buy you a drink," he said in response and she nodded, ordering another Scotch on the rocks.

"She never likes it when I do that," Matt said, after a pause.

Alex chuckled.

"C.J. wants people to know she's her own woman," she said, "In our line of work, we have to act tough and capable of looking after ourselves or we wouldn't be effective arguing our positions in court."

"I know it's tough…"he started.

"No, you don't," Alex said, "The judges hate female attorneys. They sit there on their benches like a bunch of good old boys and automatically believe that female attorneys are weak and we're stupid. Some of them even say it."

"C.J.'s not either," he said, "She's the smartest and toughest woman I know and as you can see, the most stubborn."

He sipped his drink.

"And then they think we sleep with our bosses to move up through the rank," Alex said, with a sigh, "So after dealing with that all the time, I think she just wants you to understand she can fight her own battles."

"So how do you do it?"

She shrugged.

"I get through all that crap because I love my job and I believe in what I'm doing," she said, "I know that C.J. feels that way about it too even though we're on opposite teams."

He smiled.

"I've been trying to get her to come work with me," he said, "But she's turned me down every time."

Alex sipped her drink.

"She doesn't seem to be the corporate type to me," she said, "I'm a diehard public servant and we tend to recognize each other and I believe that's the way she's wired just like me."

* * *

C.J. walked to the other side of the large room to cool off. Not that she had been angry with Matt for stepping in when Chad had hassled her but it bristled her when he felt that he needed to do that. She wished he realized she could handle herself well in any situation.

"Excuse me Miss," a man's soft voice said, "you look like you could use a drink."

She turned and looked in surprise at Walker, who looked handsome if a bit ill at ease in a tuxedo.

"I'm fine thanks," she said, "I just thought I'd take a breather from this party."

He smiled.

"I know what you mean," he said, "This isn't my kind of place to be either but the judge is a good friend of mine."

She nodded.

"I never appeared before him," she said, "but he seems like a nice man."

"The best," Walker said, "He helped mentor me when I was thinking about going into law enforcement."

"That's right, you're a Ranger right?"

"Yes I am," Walker said, "and at first I thought I wasn't going to make it but I gained more confidence in my own abilities and now I can't see myself doing anything else."

C.J. sighed.

"I know," she said, "I felt that way when I finished law school and started working at the public defenders' office."

He nodded.

"I know," he said, "I remember when I ran into you and Alex."

C.J. remembered that too and how taken he had seemed with the young prosecutor.

"She's been a really great friend," she said, "Even though we fight it out in court, we can have fun afterward."

He sighed.

"Alex and I still haven't gotten that far," he said, "We argue on our own time."

C.J. felt confused.

"But wait, you both are on the same side so what do you have to fight about anyway?"

He smiled.

"Oh we find something."

C.J. hesitated.

"I think underneath it all, she really does like and respect you."

She couldn't tell but he looked pleased when she said that.

"She seems nice enough…when we're not fighting."

"She's very nice," C.J. said, "and so are you so I'm not sure what the problem is."

He laughed.

"I see that your date has been busy," he noted.

She scowled.

"He should know I can handle myself with anyone," she said, "He's not around most of the time anyway."

"I think men just feel protective about the women they care about," he said, "That Chad has generated complaints in my office from female employees."

"His girlfriend just dumped him."

"I don't wonder why," Walker said.

* * *

Matt and C.J. ran into each other near the lobby of the hotel.

"I was looking for you," both of them said at the same time and then they smiled.

She smiled at him.

"I'm sorry about how I acted," she said, "I know you were just trying to help."

"You've got nothing to be sorry about," he said, "I should have let you handle him."

"I could have," she said, "I have to deal with him in court most days anyway."

She began to walk back to the party.

"C.J…"

She turned around to face him.

"I didn't mean…"

She sighed.

"I know."

He looked around.

"Do you really want to go back there?"

She smiled.

"Not really," she said, "I don't think they'd miss us if we left."

He showed her his arm and she took it, as they walked outside of the hotel to his car.

"Do you want me to take you home," Matt asked.

She shook her head as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"I'd like a bite to eat actually."

He looked over at her.

"You didn't try the food there?"

She looked outside the window at the lights and scenery flashing by.

"Not as good as the diner," she said.

Matt turned down a street, heading to their favorite restaurant where they had been eating for years.

"Maybe if you ask nicely, they'll even let you in the kitchen to cook one of your famous omelets," she said laughing.

That was a private joke between them dating back to when Matt had grown up on a ranch with a father who spent much of his time traveling away on business. This left Matt spending much of his growing up years with the employees hired by his father to look after the house and the sprawling ranchland around it. Matt had developed his cooking skills through spending time in the kitchen with an accomplished chef. His specialty while growing up had been omelets, his favorite that the shape of the Lone Star State. Both of them knew the owners of the diner and they had allowed Matt to use their kitchen on occasion to fine tune his favorite menu item.

When they arrived, the place was nearly empty and they grabbed their favorite booth and ordered off the breakfast menu.

"Have you heard from him," Matt asked to break the silence.

"He's been busy all day," C.J. said, "but he sent me something. It's waiting at home."

Matt sipped his juice, picking his words.

"I'm glad you have someone."

She stroked his arm.

"He's a great guy," she said, "When you get to know him."

"I'm sure," he said, "He'd better be."

C.J. smiled at the resolve in his voice.

"He's been good to me Houston," she said, "I just wish we could spend more time together."

Matt fidgeted with his glass.

"When does he find out his assignment," he asked.

"We're not sure," she said, "Hopefully in the next couple of months."

He studied her face, and saw the determination there along with her beauty.

"I'm happy for you," he said as their food arrived.

She pushed her hair off of her shoulders and reached for her fork.

"That means a lot to me," she said, "I didn't think he and I would ever get back together."

He started in on his omelet.

"Look C.J.," he started.

She closed her eyes and put her fork down.

"I know what you're going to say," she said, "We had broken up for reasons that didn't have anything to do with…Labor Day weekend."

Matt looked at her when she said that about the weekend when they had been in L.A. and had taken off on his motorcycle to rent a bungalow in Santa Barbara just off the beach. They often took vacations when both of them felt the need to get away from the stress of their lives or a broken relationship. She and Jonathan had been arguing long distance of course and between that and applying for jobs after passing the state bar in Texas, she had felt the pressure get to her. He hadn't even asked questions when she had flown out to meet him for a couple of days of rest and recreation. Which of course was what they had done, with sailing, attending a music festival and spending hours of course, talking.

Until their final night before heading back to L.A.

"We didn't do anything," she said, "It was just one kiss."

He raised a brow. She rubbed her forehead.

"Okay more than that," she said, "but we didn't…"

No they hadn't, Matt thought because while he had been working his way through the buttons on her blouse, she had put the brakes on what they had been doing. He hadn't wanted to stop but he respected her wishes and they had both pulled themselves together. They so rarely had stepped outside the bounds of their close friendship but it had been a beautiful late summer night and they had been at a party on the beach before coming home. They had stayed up for a nightcap while watching an old movie on a couch and one thing had led to another.

"No we didn't," he said, "but you were right. I had no business…"

She sighed, putting up her hand.

"I was there too," she said, "and I think I made the first move. I was the one in a relationship with someone else and I went home to him and never told him."

Matt had suspected that the blowup that had happened between C.J. and Jonathan that followed that weekend had been because she had told him what had happened. So what she said now surprised him.

"He didn't know?"

She shook her head.

"He's not always comfortable with our…friendship," she said, "Sometimes he suspects that we're involved and he's wrong but no matter what I said to him, he had trouble believing it or me."

"He should trust you."

She sighed in exasperation.

"But he was right that one time," she said, "Well, almost."

"You had nothing to feel guilty about," Matt said, "You put a stop to it because I sure wasn't going to and I knew you had a boyfriend."

She shook her head.

"I didn't want you to stop," she said, "I loved the way you kiss, the way you touched me. Part of me wonders…"

She shut herself at that point, a trace of pink in her cheeks.

"But I'm back with Jonathan and things are working well between us," she said, "Besides, I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin what we have between us."

He had never been entirely convinced that a sexual relationship would ruin the deep bond that had existed between them since childhood. But she believed it and he respected her feelings. Besides, he didn't want a relationship at this stage in his life having returned from the strict regimen of military life feeling his oats. And C.J. could never be just a passing fancy for him, in fact the intensity of the feelings and sensations which had rushed through him before she had stopped him had unnerved him more than he could admit even to himself. He loved women, he loved being with them and at this point, he loved variety.

"That could never happen C.J.," he said, "We've been through too much together. When I came back from that last assignment in Sudan, you helped keep me grounded."

What he had seen there while on an intelligence gathering assignment had nearly broken him, even though he had spent most of his army stint able to separate himself emotionally from his missions. But the sheer horror of it had shaken him to his core and had caused him to question everything he thought he knew about the world and himself.

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else," she said, "Sometimes life throws us challenges to see if it can break us."

A hint of sadness betrayed itself in her voice. He tried to find the words that he needed to say but he had always been a man of action and few words.

"What happened with you," he said, "and I'm not talking about Labor Day."

She looked at her hands.

"Nothing…," she said, trying to cover everything with a smile as she often did when he tried to prod into a chapter of her life she wanted to keep closed because with each day, it had become closer to being ancient history anyway.

But Matt pushed forward anyway.

"It has something to do with Jonathan," he said, "When you first met him doesn't it?"

Her eyes clouded over and she became still for a moment, then her eyes flashed.

"It has nothing to do with him or you or anything else," she said.

"Then what is it C.J.," he said, "Why does just bringing It up cause the light inside you to go away?"

She sighed.

"You're imagining things."

She didn't want to tell him about the man who still frightened her, the one who had haunted her dreams. Anytime she saw anyone on the street, the elevator or inside the courtroom who reminded her…

"Am I?"

She blinked her eyes and he let it go…for now.

"I heard from Scott the other day."

Hints of irritation knitted her brows.

"What's he done now?"

"He's off traveling again," Matt said, "He got in a fight with his old man."

"What else is new," she said, "He needs to grow up."

He narrowed his eyes.

"Are you still upset with him for not being there for Julia when she got sick?"

She looked at him for a moment that seemed longer than it actually was, taking in the concern in his eyes and his voice. She hesitated as she often did when he did this but as she usually had done, she shook her head to dismiss the subject.

"Did he do or say anything that I need to know about?"

She had already put the past out of her mind again and Matt sighed inwardly knowing that again, subject closed.

"She's doing fine without him," she said, "And I'm doing just fine."

They spent the rest of the night into the early hours of the morning, talking about everything and nothing before calling it a night.

* * *

C.J. poured herself some tea before heading to bed. She reached into her box where she kept Jonathan's letter for the latest envelope. She opened it up in anticipation and inside of it, was a card with a curious creature on it, a combination of different animals. A…the word slipped her mind. She knit her brow as she opened it up to see what was written inside. Short and simple.

"_We will be together soon picking up where we left off…"_

She looked at it and closed it, with a smile on her face knowing that Jonathan had been thinking of her and the next time they would be together when writing in it and sealing it inside the envelope.

Just as she returned it into the envelope, the phone rang and she answered it.

"C.J. is it too late for me to call?"

She smiled at the sound of the voice of her boyfriend.

"No, no it's not at all," she said, "I couldn't sleep and am on the sofa with some tea before turning in."

"I'm wiped out from some extreme conditioning we did the past two day," he said, "but it's back into the classroom tomorrow."

"It sounds intense," she said, "but I know how important it is to your career."

He hesitated from several thousand miles away.

"You're more important," he said, "I don't think I always tell you that."

"You don't need to Jonathan," she said, "I know."

"About your Valentine's Day gift," he said, "I…"

She interrupted him.

"No it's fine," she said, "It was sweet of you to send a card that we'd be reunited soon."

There was a pause on the other end.

"I just mailed your gift off," he said, "I apologize that it's so late but I haven't been near the post office the past week."

She looked back at the envelope in confusion.

"Then who…," she said, "Oh never mind. I just can't wait to see you again."

"It won't be long, I promise."

With that, they said their goodbyes and she finished her tea and headed off to bed, thinking back to the past days. Her relationship with Jonathan. Her friendship with Matt. Her job as a public defender. Everything seemed to be in its right place, she thought with a smile as she slipped beneath the covers and turned off the light.

Her thoughts slipped back to the now mysterious envelope as she drifted off to sleep but that had claimed her before she could give it much thought as to who had sent it. All questions had answers to them and this one would too.


End file.
